Trip Report: Tour de Sods (Dolly Sods-Roaring Plains Thru-Hike) (July 26-28,  2024) (37 Miles)

“Take your pick: heavy water, beaver water, or sweaty Russian water.” — Anonymous.

For the 5^th year in a row, DCUL sponsored the running of the Tour de Sods in the Dolly Sods Wilderness and the adjacent Roaring Plains Wilderness. One of the most popular backpacking adventures of the year, the trip filled up with prospective hikers within minutes of the trip posting by creator, Mark (“Brightside”). Those on the waitlist could only groan in disappointment—almost none of those who registered dropped off.

Who could blame them? During a DC-area historic heat wave that shattered high temperature records, the Dolly Sods/Roaring Plains Wilderness weather forecast called for no rain and cool temperatures. How cool? Are 50 degree lows cool enough? And, Dolly Sods features a high altitude plateau resembling an endless meadow occasionally interrupted by patches of fragrant pine forests. Often derided as “Dolly Sogs” due to the commonly muddy conditions on the plains, the current drought conditions allowed one to experience this Wilderness with almost no signature mud to suck at one’s shoes. With flora and fauna having more in common with places in Canada than the mid-Atlantic mountains, hiking Dolly Sods and Roaring Plains is stunning and is extremely popular. Also, blueberries, raspberries, and apples were in season—offering an all-you-can-eat buffet of fruit. Historically, there may have never been better conditions in which to backpack these Wildernesses.

Brightside planned a 39 mile route that connected and circumnavigated both Wildernesses for one exhaustive trip, hitting the highlights. (However, if my GPS is correct, we actually hiked 37 miles). This being the 5^th Tour that he led, he plotted the best possible route based on his experience.

However, for this year, the Tour Brightside imagined was more than just an epic, long trek around and through the famous mountain plains in perfect conditions. It was not just the usual opportunity to commune with nature while meditatively putting one foot in front of the other for hours. It was not simply the opportunity to enjoy the fellowship of other interesting and fit backpackers traveling light, waking early, and hiking far—the slogan of DCUL. Obviously inspired by the less well known “Tour de France,” where cyclists circumnavigate France, Brightside modeled his trip just like a world-class bicycle race. 

The similarities were obvious. In the Tour de France, competitors ride in a series of individual races in “stages” as they move around France. One can win a stage, which is a huge achievement, or several stages. Some stages are flat, favoring those best at sprinting; others go up mountains, favoring good climbers. The best sprinters and climbers can also win awards. However, the big prize is the overall winner—the one who rides all stages in the shortest time. Those competing for the top prize are considered to be riding in the “general classification,” as opposed to those just striving to win a stage. At all times, the rider in the general classification wears a yellow jersey so everyone knows who is winning. 

Most riders in the Tour de France spend most of their time in the “peloton”—the huge mass of riders cycling in a group. It is much easier to ride behind someone else who blocks the wind resistance. However, winners must occasionally “break away” or “attack” from the peloton, either singly or in a group, so that they can collect lower times in a particular stage than those left behind in the peloton.

The Tour de Sods also had “stages”—the Friday night stage (the climbing stage), the Saturday stage (long distance, overland stage), and the Sunday morning stage (the “if I go really fast I’ll get down in time for breakfast in Davis, WV” stage). Most of us hiked together in a pack line—just like a peloton—with some occasionally holding back and some breaking away in an attack.

The Tour de France has one of those annoyingly enthusiastic British sportscasters to narrate the race while mispronouncing almost every word. For example, the sportscaster would pronounce “stage” as “stAYEge,” not “stAGE.” The sportscaster occasionally interviews competitors so one gets to the soul of the race.

Our Tour de Sods also had a funny-talking sportscaster narrating our hike in real time and conducting interviews.

ETAPE UN (Stage One) (The Climbing Stage)

The Friday night stage is a brutal introduction to the Tour. Over a short 6.5 miles, the hikers must climb over 2,500 feet. Worse, they face this climb after having worked all day Friday and driven 3 hours to West Virginia. The biggest obstacle: stinging nettles. There is a long patch of the irritating weed near the base of the climb. This means those with short pants may be in trouble and those in long pants will suffer from extra heat. At the top, the hikers must navigate the confusing unmarked trails on the open, overgrown plateau, in the dark, without getting lost. This is the stage that eliminates the inexperienced.

ANNOUNCER: Joining me now is Brightside, the creator of this year’s Tour.

BRIGHTSIDE: Good afternoon.

ANNOUNCER: Good afternoon, indeed. So, I understand this is your 5^th Tour?

BRIGHTSIDE: Yes. Of course, I’m hoping this one will be the best. I’m encouraged by the unusually favorable weather and good group of hikers this year.

ANNOUNCER: It couldn’t be any better. So, who do you think are the top contenders this year for the yellow jersey?

BRIGHTSIDE: Hunh? 

ANNOUNCER: Who do you think is likely to win the Tour?

BRIGHTSIDE: Well, this is not a race. It is just a backpacking trip. Everyone is a “winner.”

ANNOUNCER: Ha, ha! Very humble of you, Mr. Brightside. Spoken like a true “participation award” Millennial. Anyway, our sources tell us that you, Logan, and David O (“Spider-Man”) are likely to be high in the general classification.

BRIGHTSIDE: Who told you that?

ANNOUNCER: Spider-Man himself!

BRIGHTSIDE: Oh. Spider-Man. (Why did I let that guy come on this trip?)

 ANNOUNCER: The carpool cars are just now arriving. Remarkably, three cars from three separate origination points arrived at the Nelson Spring parking lot at the same time. Uh oh! It looks like Adam, driving himself from New Jersey, is going to be late. This could knock him entirely out of the general classification and from winning the first stage. And, we are just getting word that Juan arrived hours early to start hiking, disqualifying him from this first stage and any possibility of winning the whole Tour.

The hikers are now emerging from their cars, stretching, extending trekking poles, greeting each other, and hefting packs. The sportsmanship demonstration between these fierce competitors is extraordinary. 

And the Grand Depart is called! The hikers are now walking—this 2024 Tour de Sods has commenced! Ambitiously, John (“Ketchup”) and Emily immediately sprint ahead. This is a very risky strategy—they may burn out by attacking so early. 

Brightside is leading the peloton to the base of the mountain. However, wild blueberries and apples are clearly causing a distraction within the peloton. Hikers are dropping out to grab fruit and changing ranks constantly. This is so exciting!

And now the peloton is approaching the start of the climb and catches up to Ketchup and Emily. Yes, the peloton is now passing the breakaway group and is now starting the ascent. It is Spider-Man in the lead as they approach the stinging nettles. Wow! The nettles are not slowing them down at all. And now Spider-Man attacks, gaining several seconds. Can he keep it up?

They are now only a few hundred feet from the summit, but Spider-Man has pulled off the trail to catch his breath. This is all Logan needs to pass him with the secondary breakaway grouping that includes Brightside, Fan, and Dmitri (“Dying Siberian Wolf” or “DSW”). WB is just behind but hesitates before Spider-Man retakes the trail ahead of her.

Wait! What is happening now? Everyone is stopping. Oh! It is a spring—the last water opportunity before tonight’s dry campsite. Backpackers are tossing off their packs to collect this precious resource. This is taking an unusually long time due  to the slow trickle of the spring. But now Logan realizes he has enough water and he is breaking away to race to the campsite at the finish line of this first stage. No one is answering the attack. This stage may be his to win.

Brightside, DSW, Spider-Man, and WB now have water and are now racing to catch Logan. However, Brightside takes a wrong turn and the group has to backtrack through the waist-high grass. This will cost them time. 

Logan easily wins the stage and the yellow jersey. He arrives to the campsite with a welcoming fire tended by Juan. With headlamps now on at the end of this now-dark first stage, Brightside, DSW, Spider-Man, WB, and Fan arrive a few minutes behind the Tour leader, Logan.

And here we have with us the stage winner, Logan. Hello, Logan!

LOGAN: Hunh? Oh, hi?

ANNOUNCER: How do you feel about winning the first stage of the 2024 Tour?

LOGAN: Ok, I guess. This really isn’t a race. Hey, I’ve got to set up my tent. It’s late.

ANNOUNCER: It is late, indeed! And you certainly earned your rest. Thank you and Godspeed, Logan! Ladies and gentleman, that was Logan, winner of the first stage and the first holder of the yellow jersey in this year’s Tour de Sods.

And now we have over here Spider-Man. 

Spider-Man, I can only ask: what happened?

SPIDER-MAN: Well, I was feeling really good up that climb but wasn’t expecting it to get so steep. I just hit the wall. I ran out of gas. It happens.

ANNOUNCER: Yes, it does. With Logan now holding the yellow jersey and a several minute advantage, do you still have a chance to win the general classification?

SPIDER-MAN: I don’t know. We’ll see. Logan is always a tough competitor. He even got stung by a scorpion on a backpacking trip in Utah—and just kept hiking! He even turned down the obvious trail name, “Scorpion.” But, I did not come all the way to West Virginia just for second place. Tomorrow’s stage suits me—long distance, some elevation gain. I’m going to go for it!

ANNOUNCER: I couldn’t help but notice, but you seem to be the only one on this Tour to recognize it is a race?

SPIDER-MAN: Well, this is because my favorite competitions are ones where my competitors don’t even know they are in a competition.

ANNOUNCER: A wise strategy! Thank you, Spider-Man.

SPIDER-MAN: Thank you. Great to be here.

ANNOUNCER: As the competitors set up their tents, hang around the campfire, and prepare for tomorrow’s stage, everyone is wondering: Will Logan be able to hold onto the yellow jersey after the next, brutal 24-mile-long stage? Will Spider-Man close the gap? Fan and Brightside were looking very strong. WB and DSW each have enthusiastic supporters. Can any of them pull it off? Frankly, this could be anyone’s Tour. 

ETAPE DEUX (Stage Two) (The Endurance Stage)

The Saturday stage is the heart of the Tour. With over 24 miles and 2,000 feet of elevation gain, it is the point where hikers think to themselves, “miles on Dolly Sods are different than miles elsewhere.” It starts at the southern end of the Roaring Plains Wilderness. The hikers will fight their way north through overgrown rhododendron and brush, through a barely discernible trail, as they skirt the cliffs of the plateau. This is a part of the stage that requires strength to push through the brush in a “bushwacking” style, while staying on the trail and not getting lost. Here will also be some of the most scenic parts of the trail.

After crossing into Dolly Sods Wilderness the hikers will get their taste of the open meadows. However, they must be careful. It may look flat, but it is not. The seemingly serene landscape hides a significant total elevation gain that really creeps up on a hiker. The trail goes up to the northernmost part of the plateau before turning to the western cliffs of it. The trail will follow the cliffs to the finish line camp site sitting at over 4,000 feet. 

Adding to the difficulty is the need for an important water decision. The streams on the northern plain of Dolly Sods are infested with beavers. Sure they look like cute, swimming puppies, but they produce an elephant’s worth of excrement, fouling the water. A hiker’s water filter should help, but yuck! Alternatively, the hikers could draw their last “clean” water from the last crossing of Red Creek. However, the final camp spot is dry, so a hiker must carry enough heavy water to sustain the hiker for over 5 miles in direct sunlight up over 1,000 feet of elevation gain, plus have enough left over to cover dinner and breakfast the next day. So, the choice for each backpacker: heavy water carry or beaver water? What would you choose? We’ll have to watch to see what our competitors choose.

ANNOUNCER: The hikers have all awakened between 5:30 and 6:00 a.m. This will be a brutal day with over 24 miles, over 2,000 feet of elevation gain, in an unforgiving environment. The hikers are now lining up and stripping off and stowing their jackets so as to not overheat. Yes, it is cold—in the mid 50s with the sun rising—but the hikers know it will soon get hotter. And this stage of the Tour is on!

And it is Emily again with an instant attack. She has broken away with yellow jersey, Logan, fast after her. The rest of the peloton are not even moving. They seem to be waiting for Brightside to finish packing his pack. The camaraderie among these competitors is extraordinary and heartwarming.

The peloton is now moving, following Emily and Logan. But wait! The peloton has stopped. Brightside is checking his map and it appears the group has been following a dried wash and not the trail. They are now bushwacking toward the edge of the plateau to find it.

Having found the trail, the peloton is pushing through shrubs. Those wearing shorts are suffering innumerable cuts to their shins. It looks like Spider-Man is bleeding. Jaime, too, has a big cut across her thigh. Now the trail has turned to a rock scramble. The exertion must be tough, but it may be better than fighting the brush.

The peloton has stopped on a rock outcropping for rest and photos. It has not caught Emily and Logan. If those two do not run out of energy, this may be Logan’s Tour to lose.

But wait! It appears Logan and Emily are now arriving at the peloton’s rest stop. They got lost and, consequently, lost their advantage!

All together now, the peloton is continuing along the edge of the plateau, the hikers fighting their way to the boundary of Dolly Sods. I’m sure our tired, bloodied hikers will relish the more open trails of the more popular Dolly Sods Wilderness. They probably won’t miss Roaring Plains for a long time.

On the Sods, the peloton pauses to pick blueberries.

It is here the Tour meets a group of hikers traveling in the opposite direction. Oddly, five of them are openly carrying handguns. Ketchup wondered if the guns are ultra-light. Spider-Man concluded the guns were for bears. If they saw any bears they would have given their guns to them because they strongly supported their constitutional right to arm bears.

But back to the race. Brightside has now launched an attack, answered by Logan, Spider-Man, DSW, and Fan. They pushed themselves away from the peloton, up the steepest section of the trail. While much, much shorter than the climb from Stage One, it is much steeper and more exhausting. This section is lined with fans of Dying Siberian Wolf, cheering him on. The Russian-speaking fans are all hiking against the direction of our competitors with huge packs more suitable for an Everest expedition than a Dolly Sods trip. As he passes them they greet each other with an apparent Russian greeting: “Banyan?” “Da!” One couple rushes to hug DSW.

We have with us now, DSW. 

Mr. Siberian Wolf, you are clearly the local favorite to win this Tour. Were you expecting this warm reception?

DSW: Who the Russians? They are not here for me. There are here for the banyan—an outdoor sauna. They put tarps over big boulders and light a hot fire to get them red hot. They splash water on them before stripping naked and having a wilderness sauna. It’s very Russian. When the people get too hot, they cool off in the creek.

ANNOUNCER: How cultural! How do you feel about your standing in this year’s Tour?

DSW: My standing? Yes. I’m standing. I must stand to walk. I don’t like taking breaks. On breaks I’m sitting. I don’t like to sit. I have one speed: “go.”

ANNOUNCER: Well, go DSW! That is Dying Siberian Wolf, everyone. Clearly a crowd favorite on this Tour.

The peloton is now pausing at Red Creek to make a fateful decision: heavy water or beaver water? The hikers are all making their decisions.

I have here with me, Juan. 

Juan, I know you were disqualified from the general classification because of your early start at Stage One, Friday. Yet, it doesn’t look like you are even trying to win this stage. You seemed to linger on the descent to Red Creek just now.

JUAN: Wait. Is this a race?

ANNOUNCER: Very funny! Seriously, what slowed you down on that descent?

JUAN: Didn’t you see the scenery? That would stop any man. I was considering hiking back up the hill to see it again!

ANNOUNCER: I’m afraid you are mistaken, Juan. The descent to Red Creek is cloaked in foliage. There are no views of the horizon.

JUAN: Ahem. Didn’t you see those three attractive, half naked women hiking up as we passed?

ANNOUNCER: Oh, the three members of the Swedish Olympic Bikini Team?

JUAN: You are slow, aren’t you? Yes! 

ANNOUNCER: I suppose I’m too focused on reporting the race. But, I understand your distraction. Well, good luck!

After climbing out from Red Creek, the peloton is back on the open alpine meadow. Those who chose beaver water over heavy water must now gather and filter theirs. This provides an opportunity for Fan and Spider-Man to attack. They break away without any challenge.

Fan leads with a strong pace. Spider-Man is falling a bit behind. Is this a redux from his malperformance in Stage One? But wait! Fan is pulling off the trail, letting Spider-Man slip by. Spider-Man is now in the lead with less than four miles to go! He is striding like a man on a mission. He is passing the rock outcroppings and geological views of the West Virginia skyline. The finish line is an open meadow on the edge of the plateau. Spider-Man arrives alone, throwing his arms up in the air in victory. He has claimed the yellow jersey. The crowd goes absolutely wild. As long as he can keep Logan within eyesight tomorrow on Stage Three he will win the Tour!

When the peloton arrives over a half hour later, everyone pitches tents in the knee-high grass overlooking the valley. After such a big day, everyone is exhausted. Ketchup, Brightside, and Logan camp “cowboy-style” without a tent, knowing they will be covered in condensation the next morning. However, they want to enjoy the sunset, sunrise, and midnight stars. DSW and Spider-Man choose to set up camp in a nearby grove of trees where it would be drier. Everyone goes to bed early. 

ETAPE TROIS (Stage Three) (The Descent Stage)

The final stage of the Tour is a relatively easy descent off the plateau back to the parking lot. Often called the Champs-Elysees of Dolly Sods, it is only 6 miles down along a stream, but it will require more fights through dense rhododendron. And, as the hikers lose elevation, it will get hotter and more humid. However, it is a chance for one of the competitors to win the final stage—and to see if Spider-Man can hold off a late attack from Logan to win the Tour. Will Spider-Man seek to win this stage along with the entire Tour, as three-time Tour de France winner, Tadej Pogacar, would do if this was “that other Tour?”

ANNOUNCER: The competitors have retaken the trail on this, the last stage of this year’s Tour de Sods. Once again, Emily and Ketchup take an early attack. This strategy has not worked so far. So, I’m here with Emily to ask her about this.

Emily, aren’t you concerned that your early break-away attacks just aren’t working?

EMILY: What do you mean “it isn’t working?”

ANNOUNCER: I mean you attack too early. It is clearly not helping you win a stage, or the Tour.

EMILY: You mean this is a race? No one told me that. I thought this is just a fun backpacking trip. I’ve been looking at the rhododendrons thinking that they, or maybe azaleas, would look nice in the yard of the new home I just purchased.

ANNOUNCER: Ha, ha! Yet another self-effacing competitor. Thank you, Emily!

EMILY: Uh, you’re welcome?

ANNOUNCER: The peloton has stayed together for much of the descent. But now Brightside leads a breakaway group with WB, DSW, Spider-Man, and Logan. However, they stop at Red Creek to wait for the others so they can parade together the last half mile to the parking lot.

I have with me now, WB, the only woman to consistently join all the breakaways as if she was Wonder Woman. Hello, WB!

WB: Are you seriously interviewing me? Could you just leave me out of this Trip Report? And, don’t call me “Wonder Woman.” I’ve rejected that trail name.

ANNOUNCER: Absolutely, WB! Have you considered hiking in front for this last half mile to win the final stage of the Tour de Sods?

WB: Spider-Man asked me the same thing. No. I didn’t even know this was a race until just now.

BRIGHTSIDE: It isn’t! This is my trip and Spider-Man just won’t let this “dad joke” go. I’m just indulging him so that he will write the Trip Report so I won’t have to do so.

WB: Anyway, just as with Pogacar, I don’t think “gifts” of stage victories are good for the Tour. I’m leaving tomorrow for Armenia, so I have other things on my mind. 

ANNOUNCER: Ah! Saving yourself for the Tour de Armenia. We certainly understand you holding back for that.

WB: Well, not really . . . 

ANNOUNCER: With arrival of Fan, Juan, Jamie, Emily, and Adam, the peloton is now ready to set off for the last half mile of the Tour as a group. What majesty! Jaime started to draw water from the Red Creek for the final stretch, until DSW pointed out that this was downstream from the sweaty “banyan” Russians who cooled off in it. Is “sweaty Russian water” worse than beaver water or heavy water? Jaime doesn’t seek to find out. She holds off until breakfast.

Brightside takes the lead and holds it to the finish line, winning the stage! By maintaining his overall time lead, Spider-Man wins this year’s Tour.

The Tour de Sods complete, the competitors carpool to Davis, WV for breakfast.

BRIGHTSIDE: (Surrounded by admirers celebrating his stage victory). Out of the five Tour de Sods I’ve led, this one has been the best! But, to be clear, this was not a race.

—David O (“Spider-Man”)