“Senator [Quayle], I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
– Bentsen, L. (1988). “Vice Presidential Debate.” In The New York Times (October 5, 1988).
#####
Dmitri (“Dying Siberian Wolf” or “DSW”) stared out over Pine Creek Gorge, which is also referred to as “The Grand Canyon of the East.” DSW is often confused with James Bond actor, Sean Connery. Some call him “the Sean Connery of Rockville, Maryland.” He murmured, “we should hike this ‘rim to rim.’”
Standing next to him, I looked straight down into the gorge far below our feet. It was quite steep. “I don’t think there is a trail that takes hikers down to Pine Creek and then back up the other side,” I said to him. DSW smiled and, without turning his head, shifted his eyes toward me conspiratorially with a slight smirk. In his unmistakable Scottish accent he said, “no, we must bushwack!”
# # # # #
When Emily posted a backpacking trip to thru-hike the West Rim Trail, I initially was uninterested. Located just below the New York line in north central Pennsylvania, it is a five-hour drive from D.C. without traffic. However, there is always traffic Friday evenings out of D.C. It’s far. The West Rim Trail is also short—only 30 miles to thru-hike. The ratio of “driving to hiking” was all wrong. Worst of all, it is not a challenging trail. After an initial 1,000-foot climb from the base to the plateau, the trail skirts the Pine Creek Gorge the remainder of the way without any more sustained climbs.
However, I then noted Emily’s comment that Pennsylvania officially calls Pine Creek Gorge “the Grand Canyon of the East.” Wow! That could be something worth seeing, I thought. The Grand Canyon in Arizona is spectacular. Sure, I knew the eastern analogue would not be as big—otherwise, we’d call the Grand Canyon “the Pine Creek Gorge of the West”—but I expected something special. This could be interesting. I hit the RSVP button on Meetup and put the trip in my calendar.
Because of the long drive, Emily called for an early start from the Grovesnor Metro stop in Rockville—3:00 p.m. on Friday. “Am I the only one in DC UL who has a job?” I thought as I texted Emily to say I would likely need to drive up to the trail after work, alone. Famous actress, Gweneth Paltrow, quickly texted me back.
“Why are you telling me this?” Gweneth asked.
“Oops!” I replied, “I meant to text Emily.” (Emily is often confused with Gweneth Paltrow. Some call her “the Gweneth Paltrow of Prince Georges County”).
Happily, I was able to finish work early Friday and soon nine of us were driving toward north central Pennsylvania.
We arrived and set up our shuttle at sunset. A point-to-point hike, we needed to leave cars at the northern terminus to drive us back to our starting point. Emily and Chris volunteered to tackle this 45-minute-long chore. Meeting them in the north was Brian and Laxman, who drove to the trail from Ohio.
The rest of us camped not far from our cars at the southern terminus. There is a very large campground with pit toilets and water located a mile away from the trail along a different “rail trail.” The campground requires reservations but is the best staging area for a northbound thru-hike.
As we waited for the shuttle drivers, we quickly made camp and played Beth’s (“Girl with the Big Backpack’s” or “GBB’s”) custom card game, “DC UL, the Game.” Much more fun than “Monopoly,” the object of this creative game is to accumulate equipment and then miles from backpacking trips. The one with the most miles wins.
It was fun playing “DC UL” by headlamp while on a DC UL trip. We enjoyed each other’s company while drinking the “walk in beers” we bought at Sheetz during our drive to the trailhead. However, because she made the game, GBB had a huge advantage. When one card offered extra points for the person who most resembles actress Amy Adams, GBB smiled shyly. “I guess that must be me,” she sighed guiltily as she scooped up the bonus miles. GBB is like the “Amy Adams of D.C.” Wasal (“WB”) shook her head in frustration and started leafing through the cards. “Are there extra points for whoever looks like Priyanka Chopra?” she asked for obvious reasons. There wasn’t.
When the shuttle drivers arrived, we greeted them briefly before we all scurried to our tents to rest for our hike the next day.
The weather for the weekend was delightful. Backpacking trips in August are often hot, sticky affairs. However, this weekend was unseasonably cool with no rain forecasted. GBB did not even bother to bring a tarp to cover her hammock she was so confident in the predicted 0% chance of rain.
We woke to a dry morning, but the dew made wet the tents of those who did not set up below trees. We started hiking exactly at 7:00 a.m. The 1,000-foot climb was as easy as I expected in the cool morning with fresh legs. We hiked fast. At some point Brian and I were hiking together at a 3.4 mph pace. We chatted about our recent trip to the Alps. DC UL had two groups hiking the famous Tour du Mont Blanc at the same time earlier this summer. One group did the trail the traditional way where they stayed in refuges (hostels) each night. The other camped. (Here is the Trip Report for the camping version. Here is the Trip Report for the refuge version). Because Brian and I were each on different versions of that trip, we enjoyed sharing our differing experiences despite hiking the same trail at the same time.
As advertised, the trail mostly hugged the lip of the gorge surrounding Pine Creek. Unfortunately, we almost never saw the gorge as we hiked. The leaves from the trees obscured any view. We only had occasional windows where breaks in the trees allowed a truncated view. The woods were pretty but were like most woods in the mid-Atlantic mountains. We could have been hiking on a flat-ish trail anywhere. This is a trail best hiked in winter where one can see the view through the trees.
Occasionally, the trail would dip down into mini gorges created by small streambeds draining down the gorge to Pine Creek. However, these dips were not sustained climbs or descents.
After Brian and I exhausted our comparison of our Alps trip, he said to me with a sly smile, “I loved your work in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” He was punking me. Many call me “the Keanu Reeves of Fairfax.” However, I’m the better-looking Matrix version of Keanu, not the younger, dorkier Bill and Ted Keanu.
The hike on the plateau was very, very easy. Generally flat, the trail did not even have many rocks to navigate. There were short sections with overgrown brush. Unpleasantly, some of those sections contained stinging nettles. I was wearing shorts and, expecting the irritating plants, I wore leg sleeves that I pulled up like thigh-high socks. It wasn’t too bad.
Too soon, Brian and I reached our campsite for the evening. It was only 1:00 p.m.! We considered not setting up camp and waiting for our friends so we could propose just hiking onward. We could have just completed the full 30 miles that day. We’ve done more miles in a day on other trips. (Here is a Trip Report for the “Four State Challenge”—44 miles within 24 hours). However, what would have been the point? We needed something to do on Sunday.
Soon, everyone gathered and set up camp. Three set up hammocks, the others pitched (mostly) Dursten tents. Some of us rested while others played GBB’s DC UL card game. It was a long afternoon, but with such a good group it was fun. We had a leisurely dinner.
We watched the sunset against the canyon walls, then went to our tents or hammocks.
Chris had set up his hammock on the edge of a cliff. I worried about him rolling out. In the middle of the night, I heard a loud crash and was relieved to see him still hanging between the trees.
The morning sunrise was extra special. The gorge filled with fluffy white clouds. When the sun hit them, they popped with colors. Many ate breakfast admiring the view.
Emily had called for a 7:00 a.m. departure time Sunday morning, but many left much earlier. I was the only one at camp to shout “go” at the 7:00 mark. I don’t even know why I shouted it aloud; I could have just said it in my head as I stood alone.
The trail was so easy I needed a way to make it more challenging. A “10 before 10” would do the trick! Hiking 10 miles before 10:00 a.m. always feels like I’ve accomplished something big. However, the feat can be easier or harder depending on the departure time. Obviously, one must hike faster the later in the morning one starts. By starting at 7:00 a.m., I knew I’d have to hike well over 3 miles per hour to complete the 10 miles by the deadline. I started jogging on the gentle trail.
The cool morning felt great. I passed Laxman and, after a time, I reached WB and Logan. They had stopped to consult maps, concerned they missed a turn. We all did. Since the trail was mostly a linear line along the lip of the canyon, none of us focused on a sharp left turn obscured by trees. Logan happened to notice the blazes change from the orange of the trail to yellow. We retraced our steps and rejoined the trail. Many of our friends hiking ahead of us never noticed the missed turn until they reached a subsequent road junction. By that time, it made more sense for them to just walk the road than to reverse course.
When WB and Logan realized we needed to lightly jog to make our 10 miles before 10:00 a.m., they did not hesitate to join me. At our pace on the easy terrain, we easily reached 10 miles well before 10:00 a.m. We stopped to take a victory selfie.
We had been going so fast we even had time to push for 11 miles by 10:00 a.m. However, a “10 before 10” sounds cool; an “11 before 10” just sounds stupid. So, we eased up on the throttle and just hiked from that point onward. Our pace was nonetheless an impressive 3.6 miles per hour.
When Brian told me that everyone who left earlier than 7:00 a.m. also scored a “10 before 10,” I smiled. I think this was my first regular DC UL trip where 100% of the backpackers got it. (Of course, everyone who attempts the Four State Challenge easily gets a “10 before 10.” When one starts hiking at 2:30 a.m. it is not hard to hike 10 miles over the ensuing seven and a half hours)!
But then my face fell. Aneesh (“Medivac”) had originally signed up for this trip but had to cancel. Not only did I miss hiking with my friend, but he would also have been our 10th hiker on this trip. Without him, there were only 9 of us. Thus, my dream of a perfect morning hike must be a dream deferred. Had Medivac been with us, we could have celebrated a “10 before 10 by 10.” How cool does that sound! Instead, we only nabbed a “10 before 10 by 9,” which lacks the poetry. Sigh.
Having completed the hike, we piled into our cars and went for brunch at a diner in Jersey Shore. Just as Pennsylvania calls the Pine Creek Gorge the “Grand Canyon of the East,” its’ north central Pennsylvania town of “Jersey Shore” is far from the ocean or New Jersey. I suppose it is the “Jersey Shore of the West.” In the diner I asked a young waitress why her town was called “Jersey Shore” when Atlantic City, N.J., on the real “Jersey shore,” was a four-hour drive away. She just shrugged and said she never thought about it. Logan looked it up online and learned that the town settlers in the 1800s were all from New Jersey. I suppose I’m glad they called it “Jersey Shore” and not “Jersey Turnpike.” It just sounds more appealing. We told the waitress what we learned. While she was unimpressed with this history lesson, she asked “the Freddie Prinze, Jr. of Ohio,” for his autograph. (Just look at our group photo in this Trip Report—you’ll spot him when you see him).
As we ate, we compared the “Grand Canyon of the East” with the real Grand Canyon in Arizona. Anyone who has seen the latter would never confuse it with the former. The Pine Creek Gorge is impressive in its own way and shouldn’t invite the comparison. I’ve seen the Grand Canyon. I’ve backpacked in the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon is like a friend of mine. You, Pine Creek Gorge, are no Grand Canyon. And, don’t get me started on “Jersey Shore.” Will I return? I might. A rim-to-rim hike with James Bond in the winter sounds like a challenge! I just need a handful of celebrities to join me.
- David O (“Spider-Man”/Keanu Reeves); Photo credit for featured photo: Girl with Big Backpack
DC UL Backpacking 
Leave a comment