You’ve probably heard of us. They are calling us the “Kennedy Peak Four.” I always hated that tag. To my ears it makes us sound like a boy band, as in: “Now opening for the Backstreet Boys, the Kennedy Peak Four!” However, I cannot deny the national interest in us. Most of what you’ve read about us and “the trip” in the unauthorized stories are either sensationalized or exaggerated. I feel obligated to set the record straight—from the one who posted the legendary trip that inspired a nation.
I never sought to create a national zeitgeist, I just wanted to welcome new backpackers to the world’s best backpacking club, DCUL. I posted a trip that read simply:
“HEY, NEW DCULers!!! Have you “joined” DCUL but never signed up for an actual trip? Are you torn between the romance of a backcountry backpacking adventure and the fear of a full weekend with the potentially incompatible? Are you worried about DCUL’s extreme-maniac reputation and concerned about being able to keep up?
Here is a chance to “try before you buy!” Join us for a DCUL-like experience with extremely low mileage and elevation gain, and only one night! Leave Friday after work; return Saturday morning before lunchtime. You will instantly be the most interesting person that Saturday night at the bars in Clarendon or U Street when you nonchalantly mention how you woke up that morning in a tent, having watched a Friday night sunset and Saturday morning sunrise atop a Massanutten mountain with a 360 degree view! You will be surrounded by admirers attracted to your post DCUL-adventure glow, confidence, and mystery.”
I intended to simply offer an easy opportunity for anyone new to DCUL to give us a try. Once a person tries a DCUL trip they usually come back for more (unless they suck, in which case who cares)?
The plan initially seemed to work. First-timers, Sean and Margaret signed on to this trip limited to five backpackers. This left only two open spots for this fun, ultra-short trip. (It may have been a short trip, but it had “ultra” in it, so it had to be extreme somehow)! When no one filled the spots, I opened the trip to DCUL stalwarts, who immediately filled in the blanks. I had, on paper, a terrific mix of DCUL royalty and first-timers. It was looking good.
Unfortunately, Sean was “on call” at work and was “called.” He dropped. Margaret wrote, “Have to unRSVP from this. Unfortunately I won’t be the most interesting person in Clarendon this weekend.” So, on an event I specifically targeted to first-timers, I had no first-timers. My head fell and shoulders drooped. Would our leader, Karan (“BA”) think less of me for not bringing in a single new member during “New Member Month?”
However, fortunately, those DCULers who did sign up to come along with me as co-participants are really fun. So, I knew the trip should proceed.
Chandler (“Willy Wonka”) was the first Veteran Plus DCULer to sign up. After recently hiking the entire Appalachian Trail (“AT”) from Georgia to Maine in less than 3 months, he is a solid hiker. His good humor is sweeter than the gourmet chocolate he often brings on backpacking trips with enough to share.
Gene (“Roots”) was the next to RSVP. Like Willy, he thru-hiked the AT. Plus, he hiked the Arizona Trail, the Colorado Trail, and many more. He has twice rescued other backpackers he discovered injured on the trail by carrying their packs along with his own so they could each limp to safety without their packs. Famous for always hiking in shorts—even in the coldest winter weather—the man is tough as nails.
Dmitri (“Dying Siberian Wolf” or “DSW”) . . . well, everyone knows DSW. Raised in Siberia, he has backpacked and camped in temperatures below 40 degrees Fahrenheit! He competes in endurance feats such as extreme adventure racing, mountain biking, cross-country skiing, and high mileage backpacking. He is an action-figure personified—and has the thick Russian accent to prove it. On DCUL trips, he is the guy who hikes without breaks until he reaches camp, like a guided missile. He often says as he passes us on our occasional snack breaks: “It easier for me to just go. No stop. Why you all stop so much? It harder to start if you stop.”
As for me? Well, I’m known as “Spider-Man” (David O) for a reason. A big fan of “10 before 10s” (10 miles before 10:00 a.m.), I sometimes find that doing even that is an insufficient challenge. That is why I “did a Chicago” (25 or 6 to 4, or “25 or 26 miles before 4:00”) and the 50 mile version of the four state challenge (50 miles in one day across the boundaries of four states).
Clearly, we were all solid outdoorsmen long before we became “the Kennedy Peak Four.”
Our plan was audacious in its simplicity and apparent ease. We planned to hike a loop in the Massanutten mountains from the Stephen’s Trail trailhead. We routed a trek counterclockwise up the Massanutten Trail to Kennedy Peak, to overnight on the peak, and then to return via Stephen’s Trail. One night—Friday. Short miles—9 total. Simple. Elegant. Ultra-short.
Since no “first-timers” were on this trip populated by experienced backpackers, I changed the name of the trip. Instead of calling it “Your First DCUL Trip,” I renamed it in an update that read:
“UPDATE: Since no “first timers” signed up to go on this trip, and because the stalwarts who did all rock, I’m changing the name of this trip. It is no longer called “Your First DCUL Trip.” It is now called “Feels Like the First Time.” (Everyone needs more Foreigner on their playlists, anyway).”
The rock band, Foreigner, inspired this new trip name. In their popular song, “Feels Like the First Time,” the band sings about a backpacker who felt like he was experiencing backpacking for the first time on a trip because it was so epic. If you don’t believe me, just consider the first stanza of the song: “I would climb any mountain. Sail across a stormy sea. If that’s what it takes me baby. To show you how much DCUL means to me . . . It feels like the first time; feels like the very first time.”
We each embraced the new theme and tried things for the very first time. The ultra-low mileage granted us confidence to try those new things. Willy and Roots brought hammocks to try for the very first time instead of a tent or tarp. I brought almost no food for the very first time—just a couple of candy bars I never touched. Instead, I ate a big dinner at Sheetz on the drive to the trailhead, knowing I’d have a good breakfast early the next day in Front Royal. Willy followed suit. Roots and DSW only brought snacks. Willy did not bring a quilt or sleeping bag for the very first time. He used a sleeping bag liner, expecting a warm evening. I cowboy camped for the very first time in the mid-Atlantic summer—sleeping out in the open without a tent. Rain and heavy dew is so common in the area that I never want to risk getting my down quilt wet. I used a frameless pack for the very first time, thinking that my pack weight was so low a frame would be unnecessary.
My pack was more ultra-light than usual. With no food, stove, change of clothes, or framed pack, my total pack weight was only a few pounds.
We started hiking at 7:30 p.m. and summited Kennedy Peak an hour and 10 minutes later. The comfortable weather was improved by a robust cool breeze. The breeze became rain, which was disappointing. However, it was nothing a Tactical Rain Deflection Device couldn’t handle. More disappointing was the lack of a view at the peak. As we stood on the observation platform above a tiny, leaky shelter built on the foundation of an old fire tower, we saw . . . nothing. Clouds and fog obscured everything. It was as if David U (“Baseball”) planned this trip! He is famous for posting “sunrise trips” in bad weather. DSW and Willy set up tents and hammocks, respectively, while Roots and I sat under the random drippings in the shelter, hoping for a break in the rain.
The rain broke within an hour and we saw the remnants of the sunset on the mountains to our west. We soon went to our respective shelters for the evening. DSW and Willy went to their tent and hammock. Roots and I “cowboy camped” directly on the observation deck without cover of tarp or tent. I settled down on the floor; Roots hung an open hammock from the railings and swung slightly in the breeze. He later set up his tent on the platform so quietly that he did not wake me.
In the morning, we all learned something from our “very first time” experiments. I learned that cowboy camping can be delightful. I slept better than usual, luxuriating in the cool weather and gentle breeze. It was fun waking occasionally to gaze at the stars. However, I woke to note the top of my quilt was very damp from the heavy dew. On a regular DCUL trip, this would have been concerning and I would have been looking for an opportunity to dry it in the noon sun, if possible. I hate wet quilts! However, on this ultra-low mileage trip, it did not matter. I was hiking out that morning. I stuffed the wet quilt unceremoniously into my pack. Roots and Willy learned that they did not like hammock sleeping. Roots found it uncomfortable to sleep on his side; Willy found it to be too cold and he would not want to bring an underquilt on a future trip.
We woke at 5:00 a.m. to my singing rendition of Foreigner’s “Feels Like the First Time” chorus. The others remarked at how closely my singing resembled that of the famous 70s band. I won’t lie. I nailed it.
We stood on the Kennedy Peak platform overlooking the eastern Shenandoah Valley. Low clouds covered the Valley like thick, rich whipped cream. The reddening sky colored the Shenandoah mountains and the higher clouds. We enjoyed the show and took photos. We hummed the trip’s theme song softly in tribute.
And then, we hiked down to our car. We started hiking at 6:00 a.m. and finished an hour and a half later on the predominantly downhill stroll.
We drove out to Apple House in Front Royal for breakfast and their famous apple cider donuts. Consistent with the theme of the trip, it was the very first time there for DSW and Willy. Having not brought food on the trip, we had quite an appetite.
And that was it. One Friday night. Three and a half miles up to Kennedy Peak with only 1,100 feet of elevation gain. Five and a half miles down with only 170 feet of elevation gain. This trip should not have generated even so much as this Trip Report—it certainly did not warrant our ensuing meme-fame. I hope this sets the record straight.
EPILOGUE
(Based on a True Story)
The “Feels Like the First Time” trip ended early Saturday morning. That Saturday night, at an unremarkable pub in Clarendon, the party crowd was at its usual. Thumping dance music played so loudly that conversations were stilted. Everyone had to yell into each others’ ears to be heard. (“Where are you from?” “What?” “Where are you from?” “What?” “Where. Are. You. From?” “Oh, I work on the Hill.”) The pungent smell of beer on hardwood floor mingled with cologne and perfume. Dudes with brown flip flops huddled in packs, gazing occasionally and often at young women in short skirts dancing slowly in place with their arms in the air. Some of the women held a beer in one of their raised hands, holding on carefully so as not to spill too much.
Suddenly, the music stopped. The dudes all looked up and some shouted, “hey!” The women stopped dancing and lowered their arms, taking a sip of beer in the process and looking confused.
Suddenly the speakers belted out “DAAAAY-O. DAAAAY-O. Daylight come and me wanna go home. DAY. Me say DAY, me say DAY me say daaaay-o. Daylight come and me wanna go home.” Everyone started looking at each other in bemusement and confusion. The Calypso rhythm of the Banana Boat song began. “Work all night and I drink my rum. Daylight come and me wanna go home . . .” Some one shouted, “look!”
A parade of women in grass skirts and bikini tops marched in, dropping flower pedals in their wake. Behind them were bare chested men waving huge palm fronds to the sound of the music. Then, atop four gurneys in the parade line, all held aloft by other men as if at a Bar Mitzvah, lay prone on overstuffed pillows we “Kennedy Peak Four.” DSW was carried first. He reclined on one arm, his other holding above his head a large bunch of thick red grapes on the vine. He nonchalantly plucked one with his teeth and slowly chewed. Willy and Roots, on separate elevated gurneys, smiled, waved, pointed at random people, and waved again, like politicians. Willy tossed chocolate pieces to the eager masses who roared appreciation. I just beamed, admittedly feeling a bit self-conscious. The crowd cheered and hooted wildly. Confetti dropped from the ceiling.
Someone in the crowd whispered to a person standing next to him. “What is going on? Who are they?” he asked. The other replied incredulously, “these are the Kennedy Peak Four! They woke up this morning in a tent! They watched a sunset and a sunrise!” The former’s jaw dropped. “I never thought I’d live to see something like this,” he said in awe. “They are so full of glow, confidence, and mystery! They must be the most interesting people in Clarendon!”
A woman shouted to DSW, “you should run for president!” He replied deadpan, “not possible. I’m from Russia. Under Constitution, a president must be born here.” She replied, “we’ll have to amend the Constitution!” The crowd started chanting, “DSW for USA!” DCUL’s founder, Evan (“Whiskey Fairy”) watched from the rear of the room smiling and thinking to himself, “this is exactly how I imagined DCUL would be!”
- Spider-Man (David O)
If you go:
Here is the CalTopo route we took: https://caltopo.com/m/T90MN
Here is the Meetup posting: https://www.meetup.com/dc-ul-backpacking/events/301541253/
Here is the trailhead: https://goo.gl/maps/1ADMiThiRr7qkjz3A
DC UL Backpacking 