I planned this Labor Day Weekend trip as I do any DCUL trip. I appeared for my planning appointment before the DCUL power-brokers at the national headquarters. With my PowerPoint presentation ready, I sat at the end of the 40 foot mahogany conference room table to present my plan. At the head of the table, our leader, Karan (“BA”), was reclining in his leather high back chair, gazing out the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the illuminated U.S. Capitol dome. He absentmindedly twirled an unlit cigar in his right hand. Surrounding him at his end of the boardroom sat other DCUL royalty—Michael (“Uturn”), Jen (“Shuttle”), Kylie (“Faceplant”), and Evan (“Whiskey Fairy”).
From the foot of the conference table, far away and alone, I cleared my throat and nervously began my presentation. After merely announcing a plan for a Labor Day Weekend backpacking trip, however, Karan interrupted me.
“It’s been a very, very, very hot summer, Spider-Man.” (That’s what they call me, “Spider-Man”). “Don’t you think we should table your trip for a few weeks?” he asked. Faceplant and Shuttle nodded in agreement.
I protested. “We have very few three-day weekends. I’d really like to spend this one in the mountains.”
“BA is right,” Uturn interjected, “Summer is almost over, and this year has been a scorcher. Haven’t you seen David U’s (“Baseball’s”) recent trip reports? In one trip he analogized our hikers to baked potatoes in the oven. In another, we ran out of water and drove a car into a ditch requiring a literal rescue by backhoe.” As he spoke he flipped open and closed a small passport he was holding, a habit he developed after learning the hard way one cannot fly into Greece for a backpacking trip with a passport that expires in the ensuing six months—even if your trip will conclude well prior to the expiration date. Ever since “the incident,” he always carries his passport to habitually check the date on it.
Whiskey Fairy, who recently flew in from Canada where he had been stationed for a two-year work assignment chimed in. “Mais, oui! Oh, I mean, oh, yes. This really has been a hot Summer, eh?” Whiskey Fairy’s time in America’s attic obviously resulted in him picking up some Canadian characteristics and French phrases. “Maybe we should . . . commment dit-on, how do you say . . . wait a few weeks for cooler weather, oui?” I broke in, “what is with the French, Whisky Fairy? Weren’t you stationed in Toronto? Everyone speaks English there.” He averted his eyes from me and shrugged.
As he slowly dragged his unlit cigar horizontally below his nose, sniffing the pungent aroma, BA declared, “this Summer sucked. Heck! Faceplant and I are going to Iceland for a couple weeks just to get away from it. Let’s face it, the season is over.” That did it.
I stood up. “Over? Did you say ‘over’? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!” At this, Shuttle leaned over and jokingly whispered in Uturn’s ear, “Germans?” Uturn just rolled his eyes.
“And it ain’t over now, ’cause when the goin’ gets tough, the tough get goin’. Who’s with me? Let’s go! Come on!” I started to run out of the conference room, but no one followed me. So, I returned.
“What the heck happened to the DCUL I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest long weekend of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. ‘Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you, Spider-Man, it might get too hot.’” Raising my voice, I shouted, “well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. I’ll climb and crush several peaks that weekend. Mt. Whitetop, it will be a dead mountain! Iron Mountain, dead mountain! Mt. Rogers …” At this point Logan (“Just Logan”) stood up from the shadows and declared “dead mountain!” He continued. “Spider-Man’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these mountains—on Labor Day weekend. Now, we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part. We need to climb Virginia’s highest mountain, Mt. Rogers—an unassuming peak obscured by a flat grove of pine trees and absolutely no view…LET’S DO IT!”
This is how four DCULers—and only four DCULers—wound up barreling down I-81 to Damascus, Virginia for a three-day, 60+ mile loop hike. We planned to hike northbound up the Appalachian Trail (“AT”), past Mt. Rogers, and then southbound on the Iron Mountain trail (“IMT”) back to Damascus.
Did I mention that, weirdly, there were only four of us—on an open holiday weekend; at the most interesting backpacking destination in Virginia; on a weekend with a forecast for the best weather of the Summer with no chance of rain? Nonetheless, there were only four of us: Just Logan, Baseball, Ashley (“Rise and Shine”) and me.
To those of you who could have attended but didn’t, wow did you blow it! This trip epitomized perfection and delight. Heck, it even started with a personal live rock concert by Bon Jovi! For those of you who did not join us, here is what you missed.
We arrived at the trailhead in Damascus, in groups of two, earlier than planned because all of us freed up early from work. We started hiking the mile and a half out of town at 9:00 p.m. or 10:00 p.m., in turn. The first part of the hike, through the town, was on the Virginia Creeper Trail. The Creeper is a flat “rail-trail” path of crushed limestone.
Soon, we reached the AT and we climbed to our intended destination for the evening. The weather was cool and comfortable in shorts and a tee shirt. We immediately set up camp and went to sleep. The crickets were incredibly loud. I don’t recall louder bugs on a trip. At first they were annoying. However, Rise and Shine later remarked that they had a soothing white noise effect. I could not help thinking the din reminded me of something. What was it?
Then it hit me. Bon Jovi! The bugs were riffing the chorus of Bon Jovi’s hit rock song, “Livin’ on a Prayer.” I fell asleep smiling, enjoying the perfect cool sleeping temperature and impromptu rock concert.
We woke Saturday morning to hike northbound on the AT toward Whitetop Mountain, the second highest mountain in Virginia. True to her name, Rise and Shine woke early and started hiking in the dark alone. A half hour later the rest of us broke camp and hiked after her.
We faced approximately 6,000 feet of elevation gain that day. However, the air was cool enough that, combined with the light sweat from the hike, we felt energized and happy. This trail is spectacular. In turn, we hiked along streams, under rhododendron groves, through pine forests, and across alpine meadows. (Technically, the meadows are “balds” and are not above tree line. However, there are no trees on the balds, presenting hikers with an alpine experience). We were a fast group and stayed close to one another. We intended to hike 18 miles that day, taking into account the large elevation gains. However, we arrived at Whitetop Mountain way too early—before 4:00 p.m. This surprised me because the punch up to the peak was a steady, steep climb that tires most mortals. However, we each arrived at Buzzard Rocks, the gateway to the peak, separately but within minutes of each other, feeling great.
After resting at our planned campsite just past the peak for a half hour, we decided to hike on for another couple hours to Elk Garden. The Garden featured our second “alpine experience” after traversing Whitetop. This time, we saw our first “wildlife”—cattle on the trail. We marveled at them; they could have cared less about us.
Passing through Elk Garden, we could not find a suitable campsite. So, we climbed onto Elk Garden Ridge and found a nice flat spot in the woods. We made camp, cooked our dinners, and enjoyed fellowship and the intoxicating afterglow of a full-day hike. Adding to the natural intoxication, I brought a can of wine that paired perfectly with my spicy ramen. The temperature remained cool and comfortable, with low humidity. We enjoyed the sunset through the trees and followed suit by going to bed early. Unlike the prior evening rock concert, that night was dead silent. The only sounds I heard were occasional crunches of sleeping mattresses when one of my friends shifted in their sleep. We had hiked 23 miles that day.
We woke early on Sunday and began hiking around and then up to Mt. Rodgers, Virginia’s highest peak. The AT skirts the peak. A short half mile side trail provides access. However, I’ve previously summited twice and did not feel the need to tag it again. It is a viewless peak in the middle of a plateau of spruce trees. But for the small metal disk announcing the peak, one would otherwise not know this was the top of Virginia.
We paused to draw cold water from Virginia’s highest spring for refreshment before continuing around Mt. Rogers along Wilburn Ridge. This is an extended, exposed grassy bald that lasts for miles. If you ever saw the opening scene of Sound of Music you can imagine the terrain. These are lush, green fields with lower mountains in the distance. Wild ponies keep the grass cut short. Usually, I see a small herd in this area. While I kept stepping around piles of evidence of pony presence, I did not see a single one. However, Baseball, Rise and Shine, and Just Logan each saw one—the most sought after pony on the mountain. They saw Fabio—the male model of the pony world, with his long blond mane flowing in the wind. Some hikers spend years hiking the region hoping for a single sighting of Fabio. On this perfect trip, he was the only pony we saw.
As with Saturday, our fast hiking pace and extended prior day hike resulted in us arriving at our evening destination too early. Our transition from the AT to the IMT was a bit jarring. First, we engaged in a short bushwhack from one trail to the other along an abandoned linking trail. Going from the well-trodden AT to an abandoned trail shocks the senses with the need to navigate overgrown underbrush and deadfalls. Second, the IMT is heavily used by horseback riders. The horses badly tore up the trail, leaving heavy, loose top soil and thick mud that was strenuous to tread. It was also very steep. However, we were not on the IMT for long before arriving at our intended shelter.
Just as with our prior evening, we unanimously chose to hike onward a few extra miles before setting up camp. This trip was so perfect that my admittedly ambitious mileage splits was not ambitious enough! We wanted to add miles. Bright and Early later admitted to me that had I advertised our actual splits she might not have signed up for the trip out of fear that it would be too much for her. However, she took turns leading our pack and had a great time. We made camp at the Straight Branch Shelter. We had hiked 24.3 miles that day.
At camp, Bright and Early told us she was pining for pizza. Just Logan retorted that biscuits and gravy better suited him. I would have enjoyed either breakfast or lunch, but pointed out that we only had 12.5 miles left to hike to return to Damascus. I suggested that if we left early we would easily arrive in time for brunch. Bright and Early asked if that meant chicken and waffles with mimosas? “Of, course!” I lied. There was no way tiny Damascus had foofy food—we were in the Deep South. I figured I could apologize later. We agreed to start hiking Monday at 6:30 a.m.
In order to be ready on time, Baseball chose to sleep in the shelter despite Just Logan’s observation that it was mouse-infested. We all expected Baseball would have more of an Animal House experience than my opening to this trip report. However, ours was a perfect trip, so not even mice came out to disturb Baseball’s slumber.
On Monday morning the miles passed in a blur. The temperatures started climbing and, even at this early hour, it was the hottest hiking so far on this trip. It was not bad, though, just a bit hotter. I aimed to score a “10 by 10”–ten miles before 10:00 a.m. However, it was not much of a challenge. We positively flew down the trail! Our average hiking speed was a whopping 3.3 miles per hour. We scored our 10 by 10 well before 10:00. Despite the lower part of this trail being one shared with horses and motor bikes (really, sigh), we saw none of the latter and only one sighting of the former. We inadvertently played a trick on Baseball when Bright and Early, Just Logan, and I took a slightly wrong turn leaving Baseball to unknowingly take the lead. No matter how fast he hiked he could never catch up to us since we were behind him. I startled him when I hiked up behind him shortly before the trail terminus. We arrived in Damascus before 11:00 a.m. with plenty of time for brunch.
Once in town, we walked smartly to the Damascus Diner. As soon as we sat down, I started to apologize to Bight and Early for my brunch menu deception. I figured it was better to ask forgiveness straight away. However, I was relieved when she interrupted me to say, “Oooh! Chicken and waffles! And mimosas! I think I’ll order those!” I grabbed the menu and gawked, shocked and relieved to see that her menu choices were indeed real options. I confidentially stated, “I told you so!” Baseball was relieved he could have a brunch meal with something other than “puddin’ meat.” It was the perfect ending to a perfect backpacking trip.
I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO! You should have come this trip. This trip rocked—and not just because we enjoyed a private, live concert by Bon Jovi on a mountain peak and hung out with Fabio in paradise! A terrific trail, great weather, and interesting and strong backpacking companions are what makes life worth living—and we lived very, very well. Don’t feel bad; just never let it happen again.
And, congratulate DCUL’s newest Veteran Plus Member, Bright and Early!
—David O (Spider-Man)
DC UL Backpacking 
Excellent write up Spiderman!
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Thanks!
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