Planning appointments are a regular occurrence for DCUL organizers, as David (“Spiderman”) and I know all too well. However, I was being summoned to DCUL HQ for an entirely more terrible and sinister reason: I was in trouble for “high crimes and misdemeanors” and multiple violations of the DCUL code of conduct. Things weren’t looking good for me. I nervously began walking up the massive staircase to where my overlords awaited me. Ominously, it began to rain. Were my DCUL days coming to a close? I was about to find out.
Karan (“BA”) was the first one to speak. Normally seen smoking a large cigar, he was all business this time around. “Baseball, I’m not going to waste any time. You almost killed 3 hikers on your last Tuscarora trip. And you got a car stuck in a ditch. What do you have to say for yourself?” I began to respond but Kylie (“Faceplant”) interrupted me. “Quiet, baseball. There is nothing you can say. You’ve completely embarrassed our group. How can we ever trust you to lead another trip?”
Michael (“Uturn”) spoke next. “Kylie is right. We’ve been getting emails and phone calls left and right. Hikers are complaining. We’re not sure if you’re a…good fit for our group anymore.” Jen (“Shuttle”) nodded in agreement and gave me a death stare.
Things were so serious that Evan (“Whiskey Fairy”) dialed in from Canada to give his thoughts. With a bottle of rum in hand, and looking completely plastered on webcam, he began to speak. “Do *hic* bbejjittttejr man comej onn *hic*. Likeee DCCUwl *hic* neejdsdddddds bbejttterrr.” This was very out of character for Evan. My blunders were so serious and embarassing that I was causing the founder of our beloved group to drink. I felt ashamed.
Karan cleared his throat. “ANYWAYS, Ahem, yes…Baseball. I think it is evidently clear that we no longer need you. We have other organizers like Spiderman and Brightside who are far more experienced and don’t make nearly as many mistakes. Myself and the other leaders have decided that you are henceforth…banished from DCUL.”
I gasped and hung my head in shame. I wanted to protest, but I knew it was over. They were right. I had almost killed Austin, Vince, and James on my last Tuscarora trip. I had embarrassed myself and the group. I was crushed.
Suddenly, Adam (“Too Early”) barged into the room. “WAIT! You can’t just kick Baseball out of the group like this! Haven’t you read your own rules? According to the DCUL Code of Conduct Chapter 6 annex B subsection 47 paragraph 3, a banished organizer can be reinstated if there is a collective of members wanting him back.” I looked up in amazement. Was it true?
Karan began cursing under his breath “How did you…? Michael, I thought we got rid of that rule??” The sunlight began streaming through the massive ceiling high windows, and more familiar faces came to my rescue. Emily and Vera and Veronica rushed into the hall. “WE WANT MORE TUSCARORA TRIPS!” Then John and Adam D. and Sophie came running in “WE LOVE DAVID’S TRIPS, HE’S THE BEST!”
Lastly, Austin came in. “Baseball might have almost killed me…but I have forgiven him. And he is a great guy. Let him continue to organize…or we all quit DCUL.” Everyone echoed in agreement. “YEAH, or we ALL quit!”
My DCUL overlords sat stunned in silence. They stammered and grunted and cursed, but they were caught red-handed. Karan begrudgingly had to admit defeat. “Welcome back…Baseball”
The Tuscarora Trail section hike would continue.
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And so it came to be that 8 DCUL backpackers joined me for the third iteration of my Tuscarora Trail section hike. Myself, Adam, Emily, and John met up at Vienna Metro. After a quick bite to eat at Sheetz, we dropped two cars off in Gore and then drove to the start at Waites Run Road. We also made a quick stop at the Eagle Rock Trailhead to set up a water cache. The hike on the ridges would be nice but offered no water sources. I had planned for us to start at 8pm. Right as Adam parked the car the time was 8:01….close enough! Vera and Sophie had started a few hours earliar. Adam D. would meet us later that night, and Veronica would get an even later start the following morning.
After a 4 mile hike up to the Gerhard Shelter, we pitched our tents and went to sleep. Thankfully, we were just in time, because right after we got our tents up it started raining. Saturday morning came and it was still raining, but it wasn’t too bad. The previous night I had pitched my tent next to a very suspicious looking hole, but I didn’t think much of it. However, as I crawled out of my tent that morning I looked into the hole and realized it was a yellowjacket nest, and about 30 of them were all crawling out. With my tent and all my gear getting wet, I attempted to grab my stuff as quickly as I could, but not before getting stung 3 times. It hurt, but I sucked it up. Thankfully I wasn’t allergic and noone else got stung. A great way to start the day.
We were on trail by 7:30am. The hike along the ridges was beautiful with a foggy mist all around us. By around 9am the rain had stopped, and we got to our water cache a little sooner than expected. We refilled our water bottles and then headed up to the Eagle Rock Overlook which was quite fantastic. Even better, the sun started shining. We took some time to dry out and enjoy the views. Austin, always one to bring audacious snacks was munching on some cranberry covered goat cheese. Emily lost her seat pad. Adam (“Too Early”) tempted fate as he dried out his tent with the increasingly volatile wind.
We continued our hike along the ridges which were rocky but also very flat which allowed us to make great time. Normally a good thing. However, I had only planned for us to hike 16 miles that day. The winds also began to worsen at some point. Mark R was leading another DCUL trip to White Rock Cliffs and also suffered. Despite the wind, the hiking was beautiful. We took small breaks to enjoy some of the overlooks but with the winds we never stayed too long. We retreated down to the lovely Pinnacle Shelter which would be our home for the night.
We arrived at the Pinnacle Shelter around 3:30pm. It was really early, but we had the place all to ourselves. Of course we did, it was the Tuscarora Trail. At some point Adam (“Too Early”) started talking about the evolution of his backpacking breakfast. It all began with cooking breakfast like every other backpacker, but laziness led him to experimenting with other options like granola bars and pop-tarts. But Granola bars got old and pop-tarts crumble, so he confessed to eventually eating honeybuns for breakfast. Now I love honeybuns, but Adam took it to another level: honeybun sandwiches with peanut butter in the middle. The audacity! And also like, 1600 calories. I then discovered that Vera, Veronica, Sophie, and Emily didn’t even know what Honeybuns were. I was crushed and saddened by this discovery. I could tell everyone else was too. DCUL is in need of some serious honeybun education.
We all crashed pretty early and got up the next morning to begin our remaining 8 miles into Gore. The last miles were the most rocky and the least maintained of the trip. We had to push our way though some serious overgrowth a few times. The shelters, however, were beautiful. The Barclay Run Shelter has been given a lot of love, complete with a fantastic privy and a chess set. And it’s kind of a shame that they get so little use. Despite the lack of water on these sections, I would highly recommend them, especially if you’re looking for some solitude. Poor John hurt his knee on the way back, but he bravely pushed on. We found the Gore Connector Trail and got a quick breakfast at Hayfield Family Restaurant.
As we were paying for breakfast, Vera joked this was the first time everyone had finished one of my Tuscarora hikes. It took me a moment to realize what she meant, but she was right. After the heat had claimed multiple casualties on my other hikes, everyone had actually finished this time. I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but after the disaster that was my last trip, this was redemption.
Sweet, sweet redemption.
-David U (Baseball)
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Photo Credit to Austin & Sophie
DC UL Backpacking 
lol . . .
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